I wanted to hop on and share my thoughts on a topic near and dear to mine and many other womens' hearts- the issue of confidence. I know it is something we all struggle with, no matter how much we practice self-love and no matter how long we've been working at it. I'm 23 and I can tell you that I have both come a very long way and have quite a long way to go when it comes to loving and honoring myself. I can see the growth- I had an eating disorder my junior year of college after years of comparison to other women. I felt simultaneously in control and completely out of control as I was counting every calorie and missing out on fun nights out with friends for fear of eating something "bad". Now, I am trying to honor the little girl in me who would eat when she was hungry and to fuel her body so she could run outside and play with her friends without a second thought. I try to eat when I'm hungry and give into cravings when I want so I can spend my time focusing on other things like building up the boutique and fulfilling this dream I've had since I was little! This is just one example of the many, many ways I struggle.
I say all this with a little bit of hindsight, as I am coming out of a very rough depressive phase that's been building since the holiday season. Now, I have diagnosed anxiety and depression and go to therapy and take medication (absolutely no shame there). I KNOW that these aspects of me are just that- aspects, small facets of my personality that most certainly do not represent the entirety of who I am. My rational brain knows this, but often times our mind can play cruel tricks on us and convince us otherwise. I've been massively struggling with my self-confidence lately as a result of my mental illnesses in combination with getting rejected from job opportunities and feeling like all the work I did in college was for naught. You see, I grew up in a very overachieving environment, with the notion that achievement and society's version of success (college, 9-5, money, marriage, kids, retirement, etc.) would equal happiness. I'm in the process of trying to SLOW DOWN and realize that I have the rest of my life to work, go back to school if I want, change career paths, become a mom, a wife, etc. These are all things I hope for myself, and all things that are well within my reach, but they don't need to all be done in the span of a few years. Working your ass off is great and all, but it is not the be all and end all. Believe it or not, it's okay to slow down, take a break and reassess what would make you happy, even if it might not present the biggest pay check. Right now, I am trying to give myself grace and not attempt to wrangle every milestone into place myself. Sometimes, you just have to surrender to the events of your life, find the beauty in them and follow your intuition on what feels good. Easier said than done, though. I get it.
Here's my first step to following my intuition. I quit my full time job on Monday. I loved my co-workers and the company but was unhappy. I felt very misaligned with my inner self and felt I was missing key components of my life that lit my soul on fire. Though I am relieved and hopeful for what is to come, I am, in a word, TERRIFIED at the thought of being unemployed and not finding another job in a field that I love. I know that it was absolutely the right decision and probably the first time I've followed my intuition in a very long time, (I think the last time was when we opened the boutique) but my thoughts have been telling me otherwise. Technically I am self-employed (hey, female entrepreneurs) but we are still in a growth phase and as much as I'd love to be able to pay myself a nice salary from the boutique we have a ways to go! But that's okay, because I absolutely love owning and running this boutique with Elyse. It has been a shining light in what has been a very dark year. It feels good, and the only thing I know how to do right now is to continue chasing those opportunities that feel good deep down in my gut. You know the feeling.
I write all this to say that if you are a young woman like me that feels unsure of what your future looks like, or you are a middle-aged or older woman who is in a limbo or transitioning period as well (because growth never stops no matter your age), you're going to be okay. WE are going to be okay, and WE are in this together! Also, I want to shout out Elyse for being an incredible best friend. This girl is the epitome of a strong, confident woman who loves and uplifts other women around her. We can all take a piece of advice from this girl! I learn so much about self-love and loving others from her, and I could not be happier to own the boutique and do life with her. She constantly encourages me in difficult decisions and urges me to see myself the way she sees me. Sometimes, being reminded of the impact you actually have on others lives is powerful when you are consumed with self-doubt. If you are in need of someone to remind you of your awesomeness, reach out to your person (or me and Elyse) and we'd be happy to remind you.
I hope these blog posts provide a bit of solace and relatability to whatever you may be going through in your life. If you don't feel like you can go through whatever you are going through by yourself, Elyse and I would be honored to be your friends and your support system. That is really the point of all of this. Aside from the cute clothes, jewelry and accessories, we want you to know above anything else that we are here for you always. We hope Trousseaux and This is Your 20s feels like a special community of like-minded females who you can always lean on. That is our goal above anything else, to spread love and power to the women in our lives.
If you feel like this resonates with you, please leave a comment or pass along to a special woman in your life. As always, check us out on instagram @trousseaux_boutique and @thisisyour.20s. Remember, we are always open to feedback and welcome constructive criticism- please let us know how we can do better!
With self-love, celebration and feminine spirit,
Elyse's quote of the week:
"Allow good people to come into your life. Allow good things to happen to you. Allow yourself to be happy."